What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What! how could you do that?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

I am skinny, I have been doing 100 pushups a day for more than a month and am seeing very few results, everything is so unfair, I workout more than anyone I know and am still skinny, why cant I build muscle?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do subpar women think that they are nines and tens?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Do you know what she said mum?

What do you mean son?

How did Kate Mulgrew feel about Jeri Ryan joining the cast of Star Trek: Voyager?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Shiba Inu risks 18% drop, but whales keep buying – What do they know? - AMBCrypto

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What ended your relationship with your best friend?

True - how I loved my mum!